Start Living Slow

A Collective Need for Unbusy

I think that some people quickly dismiss slow living as lazy. Modern society encourages the hustle and rewards speed and efficacy. In the pursuit of faster living we look for ways to cram in more by resorting to energy boosting drinks, prescription drugs, or books that tell us how better utilize our time so we can produce more. We are addicted to instant gratification and in turn expected to function at the same intense speed. 

I look at my past self, wearing my busyness like a badge of honor. As if not having the time to make plans with a friend or on my hobbies meant that my business was more successful (not necessarily the case) or that my career was impressive. It’s shocking to think we often base our worth on how successful we are (in the common conception of the word) which is often accompanied by tremendous busyness. The societal norm is to base our own self worth on the way others perceive us, and unfortunately many people believe busyness and success come hand in hand. The very chasing of more, bigger and faster is idealized. The age old sayings “simple is best,” “slow and steady wins the race,” “less is more,” and “wherever you are, there you’ll be” are buried and forgotten.

Slow living is a movement to rewire the dogma that says busyness means being worthy and or successful. That if you are happy, healthy, and able to spend your days doing the things you love, that you’re lazy, uninspired, languid, spiritless, and even worthless. The current gross misconception of this idea of success lends itself to our deeply ingrained doubt that our own aspirations lack significance. It is certainly not true. Whatever your desires may be they are yours and are just as significant as any other. Don’t let society determine your worth.

The Wise Philosophy of the Tortoise

If you’re busy doing the things you love you are fulfilling your intended life. But this isn’t necessarily the case for many of us who are or have been on a hamster wheel going nowhere while ultimately living someone else’s dream. Busyness, for the sake of busyness is the most toxic lifestyle of them all. When we’re busy getting by at a job we aren’t inspired by, or only participating in activities because it’s what our peers would approve of, we are not aligned with our own longings and our own meaning of “happy.” 

Racing through life in this manner is reminiscent of Aesop’s fable “The Hare and the Tortoise.” The overconfident Hare is much like frazzled Jane. Convinced that reaching the finish line is her personal goal (because that’s what Ally and James and her parents said) she runs as fast as she can so quickly that she’s unaware it’s not her own dream she’s chasing. The Tortoise on the other hand is the mindful person taking their time, having their own thoughts, and intentionally enjoying the view and smelling the flowers all the while.

It was a poignant moment for me, when I realized it’s ok to have your own dreams and goals. Someone else’s happy is not necessarily your happy. It’s ok if you want to live a simple life and not the career others wished for you. And it’s also ok if you yearn to climb the corporate ladder and be a female boss of a fortune 500 company. It’s ok not to want a Ferrari, even if your friends do. And it’s ok if you do. Your goals, dreams, wishes, your values and priorities are as unique as you. Our lives are a gift, and ultimately the people that love us will respect the choices we make based on our own life philosophies. The people that love us want us to be happy. We should love ourselves enough to know we deserve to be happy and actively curate a life that is fulfilling and prosperous to us, no matter what that looks like. 

Slow Living is as Unique as You

Looking at blogs, books, or social media accounts may lead one to think that the slow living lifestyle is just about sipping hot drinks, taking long walks, or reading all day. Or baking without the use of electrical appliances, or opting to hang laundry on a line to dry, or a culmination of other equally laborious, inconvenient, and slow ways of doing things. (No offense meant for those that find joy in these activities, I enjoy it too!) The common and popular representation of slow living or simple living seems to draw itself on these themes, but this is not the only way to live slow. 

The whole point of slow living is to give yourself the time to be and do whatever it is that makes you feel whole – to be intentional about how we spend our time and to declutter places, things, activities, hobbies that don’t serve us or our loved ones. You don’t have to live in a little cottage in the woods, washing your laundry in a stream and chop your own wood. You don’t have to favor a certain aesthetic or decorate your home in a certain way to enjoy slow living. As a matter of fact you don’t have to be home at all to enjoy slow living. The philosophy of self love and of taking the time to nurture yourself by living with intention is all you need. So have the courage to make the changes big or small to live You deserve to be happy. Now go on and pursue your heart’s desires.

When was the last time you took an intentional deep breath? Or slowed down to look at the sky and clouds? Really savored every bite of food you ate? If you’re like me, and just learning to practice slow living, perhaps it’s been a while.

I was raised like many others I’m sure, with family and friends around me who focused intently on the future. What were you going to be when you grow up? What classes and extra curricular activities would you take to get into your preferred college. What will your major be and what will be your career? When you find a career, what will you do to work your way up? At what point in your career, at what dollar amount in the bank account, if and when you find a relationship or start a family, will you be happy? It’s good to look back and consider, what you’re chasing and whether the life you lead allows you to savor life’s precious moments. Are you taking the time?

Slow Living and the Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness. Isn’t it what this whole thing is about anyway? This is the single universal quest in each and every one of us no matter our upbringing or background. After our basic survival needs are met this is what we wish for most, though what this looks like is unique to each and every one of us. To me, happiness is being loved and giving love. It is living doing the things that spark joy, and doing service for others. But for so long, I’ve imagined I won’t be happy until I have the job that impresses my family, the title that impresses my friends, the car that makes me look like I have my life together…and the list goes on.

All that time, spent chasing happiness, when all the happiness we need is here waiting for us to slow down enough to notice it. All the milestones we’ve made, and times we fumbled but rose up stronger and wiser. Kind gestures from family, a lover, or even a stranger? Pats on the back from a colleague after a particularly hard day? Even seemingly menial everyday tasks can be a source of endless happiness if we only take the time to relish each sip of tea, the process of preparing food, a hug from your favorite person. These are the true moments to be grateful for, worth slowing down and appreciating. I’d been holding off of being happy while I chased the accomplishments I thought would bring me the greatest joy. Just rereading this sentence is humorous. Why would we hold off on feeling happiness every day when all we had to do was to slow down and savor each moment in gratitude? Learning how to find happiness in the here and now is the true essence of slow living. What can you change in your life to allow you to savor the moments?

Giving a Moment Worth Savoring to Others

This year has been inexplicably cruel to those that have the least, and less so for a privileged person like me who in some ways benefited from a time to slow down and reflect. The least I can do is to take this time to truly be grateful and to work on myself so that I can be of greater service to others.

Some folks don’t have the privilege to slow down, because they are frontline or essential workers risking their lives everyday, because they are without food to feed their families, money to pay bills, or a home to call their own. Here are some ways we can help others:

• Donate money or non-perishable foods to your local food banks.
• Donate to local organizations that help the needy where you live.
• Reach out to friends and family and see if you can help in any way. Perhaps they just need someone to talk to, someone to watch the kids, or someone to bring them groceries.
• Find organizations near you that connect you with elderly folks who need someone to run errands or just need to be checked in on.
• Become a crisis counselor through crisistextline.org
• Support small local businesses by purchasing their products or services.
• Offer help to small businesses that can benefit from your skills or resources. (Help improve SEO for their website, help with delivery, donate PPE or money, etc.)
• Reach out to your essential worker family and friends and show your appreciation over the phone, zoom, by email, or greeting card. These people are working tirelessly and risking their lives everyday for the benefit of all of us! Ask them what we can do to make their lives easier.

Even when we don’t have money or time to give, a few words of gratitude or kindness or even smile can go such a long way. Let’s all help in any way we can, big or small. And let’s remember, the best way to help others is to first take care of ourselves. We can be of service to others only when we are sound in mind and health.